Divorce is an extremely high cost business. So you want to be sure you are well informed before making any decisions, especially of you live in California, in some nice place like Los Gatos.
Try a Kind Word or Two
When seeing your spouse in court or at future events that include your kids, you will most likely feel uncomfortable and stressed out. It’s hard to know what to say or how to approach your former spouse.
With time, it will get easier and after awhile it may not be an issue at all. When the divorce is fresh, try walking up to your former spouse right away and saying hello. You don’t need to have a long conversation, just share an item or two of information about the kids.
If you’re really feeling generous, ask how he or she is doing, but then be on your way.Don’t pick fights and don’t allow room for a conversation to escalate to an argument. The goal is to cut the tension and re-learn how to be around one another as formerly married people.
It’s important to remember that no matter how isolated you may feel, you are not alone.
Recognize that there are sources of divorce support that you can leverage to help you sort through the menagerie of feelings you’re experiencing and learn how to deal with them in a healthy and constructive way.
When you can control your emotions, you can better prepare yourself for your divorce negotiations and approach them with a calm, level head.
During the divorce process, spouses will often lob threats and hurtful remarks at each other as things become heated. If you are prepared for these threats, you may be able to deal with them better.
You Might Hear Wedding Bells and They Might Not Be Yours
Despite how happily divorced you may be, hearing that your spouse is remarrying is tough. This opens old wounds and will make you re-evaluate your life. Look at it as a chance to grow, but give yourself room to be sad. Whatever you do, don’t spend the wedding day alone. Find friends to distract you.
Make Big Purchases Before Filing for Divorce
Have a big purchase in mind, such as a new car?
“Most states issue automatic financial restraining orders prohibiting people from making big purchases or liquidating assets after the divorce is filed, absent a court order or an agreement,” said Narris.
In her practice, she advises those considering divorce to buy big items before filing.
You Can Write Off Alimony Payments on Your Taxes
People who pay alimony are rarely grateful for the opportunity. Paying alimony can actually help you out come tax time, however. According to Narris, people who pay alimony to their exes can write it off as a tax deduction. On the other hand, those who receive alimony must report it as taxable income.
It’s important to note that alimony is different from child support, which is neither taxable nor deductible.
The Most Expensive Lawyer Isn’t Always the Best
Pick your divorce lawyer wisely because your choice could save your bottom line.
“Find one that is experienced and knowledgeable but is also a good fit for you,” said Narris. “You have the power to set the tone for your divorce. The attorney should advise you but also respect your position on how to approach the negotiations.”
Just because an attorney has a high hourly rate doesn’t necessarily mean he or she will honor your wishes. For best results, go with your gut feeling.
Our recommendation : The Law Offices of Heather J. Smith. Qualified as a lawyer in England and worked in the City of London before relocating to California in 1986. Upon being admitted to the California Bar I worked in the field of civil business litigation in private practice, and for a major technology company. My offices are centrally located in downtown San Jose. Please call or email me for an initial appointment at your convenience. Read more at http://www.heathersmithlaw.com Contact info : 10 Almaden Boulevard, Suite 1250, San Jose, CA 95113. Phone: 408-279-1800. Email: hjs@hjslaw.org
Tags: California, Los Gatos